Struggles: Saying Goodbye

This blog probably isn’t what you think it’s about. It’s not about saying goodbye to the people of Guatemala. It’s about saying goodbye to a member of my Squad.

During our last day of debrief, we were called into a last minute meeting, right before our mentors and coaches had to leave. We were told that Mitch was being sent home from the World Race.

I’d been preparing myself for a change in plans for our long travel day coming up, so this hit me like a punch in the gut, and I wasn’t the only one.

It was like a shadow hung over the rest of the day, as we tried to go about life as normal, while knowing so much was about to change.

We managed to keep some semblance of normalcy for the most part, but after Mitch addressed the Squad that night and explained why he was being asked to leave, something broke in me and I just started sobbing.

I can’t ever remember crying that hard, and I think it concerned a few of my Squadmates (I got a lot of hugs and people telling me I could talk with them if I needed it). I’d tried beforehand to anticipate how I would feel if someone from our Squad had to leave, but it was so much worse than I’d been expecting.

The good news was that he was going to be traveling as far as Miami with us the next day, so this wasn’t goodbye yet, and during that night and the next day we were able to play several more games of Euchre (he and I were always the most consistent players) and spend a bit more time hanging out.

But it was hard having that weight over the day, and I know I was fighting back tears whenever I let myself think about it. Then came the time when we actually had to say goodbye.

I didn’t break down as badly as before, but I still had a steady stream of tears the whole time, and I felt a little sick to my stomach for a few hours afterwards.

I’m doing better now, but it’s still so hard to think about. Please be praying for me as I struggle with losing one of the people I was closest to on my Squad. Please be praying for the rest of my Squad, as we travel to South Africa with one fewer person. And please be praying for Mitch as he goes home; that this will help him to continue to grow in a way the Race could have never provided.