Self Image -2

Okay, here’s where talking about our self image gets more complicated. If you didn’t read my last blog, I talked about how God views our physical self, and why we don’t have to believe the lies the world tempts us to believe. It was relatively straight forward, but when we talk about how we view the things that actually make us us, things aren’t quite so black and white.

Let’s start with some common lies. “You’re not talkative enough. Not quiet enough. Not funny enough. Not confident enough. Not meek enough. Not smart enough. Not normal enough. Not polite enough. Not happy enough.” The hardest part about these lies is that they’re often told specifically to you. These aren’t blanket statements, and they can be said by people you love and trust. They might be trying to help, but the way these lies are phrased can often make things worse. They can make us believe there’s something wrong with us.

Now, here’s where things get complicated. The Bible has a lot to say on the way we should live, and sometimes, if we really struggle to behave the godly way, it can make us feel like, “I just can’t do it. Jesus will never love me.” That is NOT true. Let me tell you what the Bible says about the way we act.

Truth one: Jesus died for us while we were still sinners. Romans 5:8

Why did he die for us? Because he loved us. If he loved us while we were still sinners (Sin, by the way, is when we do something that isn’t following God’s law perfectly.), then I think it’s safe to assume he still loves us when we forget to phrase things politely, or if we tend to ramble on when explaining something. Now, this transitions to the next complicated part.

Truth two: The Bible does have certain standards we should hold ourselves too. Galatians 5:19-24.

The first three verses talk about how people act who are still in the world (sexual immortality, impurity, debauchery, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and the like). It ends by saying that people who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. Does that mean that whoever hates anything isn’t going to enter the kingdom of God? I don’t think so. Yes, God wants us to avoid these things, but this says whoever LIVES like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. I think by saying lives, rather than acts, Paul, who wrote Galatians, means your lifestyle. It shouldn’t be a normal part of our day to have fits of rage. If any of these are things you are truly trying to change, make it a habit of praying and asking God to help you. He might free you of it the first time, or it might be something you continuously ask for deliverance from. Either way, it’s not His will for us to live as the world lives, so I have confidence He will help.

The last three verses talk about how those who live in the Spirit should act. We call them the fruits of the Spirit, and they’re love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Now, if we don’t live this way will God turn His back on us? I think the answer is no, and I’ll give you two reasons why. One, it’s by grace we’re saved, by faith, not by works (Ephesians 2:8-9). Two, if we’re truly trying, He won’t kick us out of heaven for not quite reaching the mark (if any of us could reach the mark, then Jesus wouldn’t have had to die for us). If you find you just aren’t as patient or loving as you know you should be, ask God to help you, do your best to change, and forgive yourself for when you act human.

Truth three: We’re not supposed to do what the world wants us to do. (Romans 12:2)

Most of the aspects that we try to change about ourselves aren’t specifically mentioned in the Bible. When we try to be “normal” we usually try to conform ourselves to the patterns of this world, rather than embracing who God created us to be. The Bible actually tells us not to do this! There’s a reason God didn’t make us all identical. It’s because He delights in us, and the special personalities He designed for us. Why should you hide what God is proud of?

So… you can see why I said this was complicated, right? There’s always room for growth, but we shouldn’t hide the best parts of ourselves! If you’re snappy when someone gets you up early, that’s an opportunity for growth. If you have an odd sense of humor, that’s good thing, even if there are some people who think your jokes are lame. I can’t please everyone, so I try to please God first, and if other people are pleased in the process, then that’s an added bonus!

Here’s a quick summary. One: there’s nothing you can do to make Jesus stop loving you. Two: we are called to live a certain way, but making a few mistakes won’t ruin your relationship with God. Three: the world and God often disagree on the way you should behave, so you have to choose who to serve.

I’ll end on a personal example from my own life. I’ve spent much of my life believing I’m too quiet, too smart, and too boring. These lies made social interactions painful, because the entire time I was around people, these lies would be playing in the back of my mind. Today, I know that being quiet can be a good thing, being smart is a gift God’s given me, and that I’m not actually boring; it just takes a lot of bring me out of my shell. But it took a lot to get to this point, and it wasn’t one single thing that changed my mind. It was a process. It’ll be a process for you too, these lies are deeply rooted, so don’t give up.