Indonesia Impact

The time in my last country is coming to an end. I still have a few weeks before I’ll be home, but I’m now back on American soil.

Indonesia has been a roller coaster for me. Maybe it’s more accurate to say this whole Race has been a roller coaster, but I feel it more strongly in this country.

I’m not going to lie, this was a rough country for me. There’s not one thing about it I can point to and say, “That’s what made it hard.” But rather, a bunch of little things piling on one another to make a heavy weight on my shoulders.

Having it be so close to being home again has made it hard to focus on the present,  especially when I feel like I should be planning what job I’m going to get, and missing people from home has gotten a lot harder recently. Not being able to openly talk about Jesus has been a slight, but unforgettable weight every time I talk with someone. The heavy spiritual atmosphere weighs on me, forgotten only when I focus on Jesus with a strength that’s beyond me. The slight inconveniences, even if we’ve had them in every country, have started feeling much bigger than they actually are. Knowing I’m going to be saying goodbye to the friends I’ve made on the Squad, potentially never seeing them again, has been a fact I’m unable to ignore in every conversation I have.

It’s a little like the torture where you have water drip on your face for hours and hours. By itself, the drop doesn’t bother you, but when paired with so many other drops, it gets to be a little unbearable.

But God.

Isn’t that the point? No matter where I am, no matter what I do, no matter what I focus on, everything is worth less than nothing–it’s worth negatives!– if not for God!

For God, I can endure a million hardships, and still sing His praises at the end. For God, I can climb a mountain, weighed down by all my burdens, because the only ones God will let me keep are the ones that make me stronger. For God, I can rest in peace, knowing that truly, everything I’ve been through is good, because God is good, and He works all things for the good of those who love Him.

Spiritually, this time has been filled and filling! I’ve spent so many hours in my Bible, I finished it in under a month. My prayers have been less like petitioning God and more like talking with Him. Worship is something I feel like I can spend hours doing. And God’s been teaching me how to intentionally walk in the gifts He’s given me to uplift the people around me.

My relationships with the people around me have been so good. I’m making new friendships and leaning into old ones. I don’t play Euchre every night, but I have been playing Nerts more frequently. Movie nights on the projector have been marking my weekends. And laughter fills the room at the smallest joke.

I can’t say much about the ministry we do here, but I will say it’s been such a fun combination of every country so far. I’m teaching English like in Guatemala. I’m doing ATL like in South Africa. And I’m playing with kids like in Eswatini.

God never lets anything go to waste, and I feel like that’s what marks my time here. Even if it hasn’t been my favorite, it is GOOD! He won’t let my time, my feelings, my relationships, or my work go to waste. He called me on a 9 month mission trip to 4 different countries, and He’s not going to let one second go to waste!