Awakening

I went into Awakening with more than just a bit of anxiety. I’d heard that it was going to be busier than Training Camp and pretty much only worship and teachings, and I was already so exhausted, I just wanted to have time to rest before Indonesia.

The day Gap K arrived (we were the last to arrive. W Squad and Gap L were already there), I was struggling with being around so many people and I’d just gotten my first look at the schedule, and prayer burns (an hour set aside for intentional prayer) were scheduled for every night. I was so concerned about getting enough sleep and quiet time to get anything at all out of of this Awakening!

But God is always at work. By the end of our first full day, I was tired, but also realizing just how much I’d missed being poured into. At ministry, we do get poured into, but it’s rarely enough to compare with how much we’re pouring out. But here, there was nothing to do except learn more about the amazing God we serve!

God also was chiseling away at some untrue beliefs that had started to build in me. A few months ago, God had promised something that seemed impossible, and I’d been testing Him in every way imaginable, convinced that I was letting my emotions get in the way of hearing what God was really saying.

When it became clear that I really was hearing God’s voice, and He really was saying what I was hearing, I then started to doubt that He would do what He said He would do. I told myself I was misinterpreting what He was saying, or maybe God was just telling me something so I’d feel a certain way now.

Then we had a teaching on confession, and the importance of asking God what you need to confess, rather than just assuming you’re all good. When I asked God, He said I hadn’t been trusting Him. Everything I’d been suppressing came to the surface, and I saw exactly what He meant.

I found a quiet spot and wrestled through what God had revealed, and honestly, kind of testing Him to see if He’d really meant what He’d said. He answered every question I asked with a patient and loving answer, and by the end I was resting in the quiet assurance that God is going to do what He said He’s going to do.

I haven’t seen His promise be fulfilled yet (in fact, it seems further than ever), but I truly believe that God’s plan will come to pass, because He is who He says He is, and He loves to give good gifts to His children.

This is already kind of long, so I’ll summarize the rest of my Awakening experience (it’s hard to do it justice through words anyways).

Yes, I was exahusted through most of it, but nowhere near as tired as I’d expected to be. I got to see God put a new heart for worship in everyone, which was important, since we worshiped at least twice every day. I saw each teaching followed by an activation where people gave more of themselves to God. I felt my heart break for what breaks my Father’s heart, and I felt the jubilation of His will being done. I witnessed deliverance and heard incredible testimonies be shared. And I fell more in love with Jesus, which was the whole point of these 4 days!